I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
