I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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