sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
