"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
