there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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