I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
