i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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