Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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  (+44): I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend http://tfl.nu/iyod
  Replies (17) Good night (3778) Bad night (1529)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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  (303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu
  Replies (50) Good night (13147) Bad night (1577)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.

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  (404): You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised. http://tfl.nu/0upx
  Replies (2) Good night (2221) Bad night (1101)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.

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  (802): Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties. http://tfl.nu/nqyr
  Replies (9) Good night (2912) Bad night (634)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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  (269): just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/lbx2
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (1318)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

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  (225): Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it. http://tfl.nu/q6wi
  Replies (9) Good night (1505) Bad night (488)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

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  (503): Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here. http://tfl.nu/jknc
  Replies (13) Good night (1300) Bad night (647)
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  (310): View more from California

  She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL

  (310): View more from California

  so no, not her best night

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  (310): She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL (310): so no, not her best night http://tfl.nu/htxy
  Replies (6) Good night (763) Bad night (1991)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You need a twittervention. You're better than this.

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  (978): You need a twittervention. You're better than this. http://tfl.nu/6sfs
  Replies (7) Good night (789) Bad night (615)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?

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  (773): which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend? http://tfl.nu/b2t3
  Replies (12) Good night (991) Bad night (604)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots

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  (318): I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots http://tfl.nu/pvb5
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (391)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.

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  (314): My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis. http://tfl.nu/6np1
  Replies (5) Good night (336) Bad night (730)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.

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  (720): I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/9e16
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (253)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.

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  (613): I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season. http://tfl.nu/8rh9
  Replies (4) Good night (725) Bad night (342)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.

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  (780): Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder. http://tfl.nu/8jwr
  Replies (1) Good night (222) Bad night (440)

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