Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?