Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do you have swine flu?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Pigs, yes. Swine, no.

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  (202): Do you have swine flu? (1-202): I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine. (1-202): Pigs, yes. Swine, no. http://tfl.nu/dq8y
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight

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  (802): that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight http://tfl.nu/exu9
  Replies (73) Good night (1205) Bad night (2819)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.

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  (407): Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama. http://tfl.nu/o21n
  Replies (59) Good night (814) Bad night (3674)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.

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  (509): Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/ax9s
  Replies (13) Good night (4297) Bad night (1836)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  then she stuck her tongue in my ass

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?

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  (515): then she stuck her tongue in my ass (1-515): I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her? http://tfl.nu/wzc5
  Replies (18) Good night (3770) Bad night (2110)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..

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  (601): Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store.. http://tfl.nu/p81s
  Replies (9) Good night (2393) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.

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  (+44): i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating. http://tfl.nu/8l9m
  Replies (11) Good night (2437) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up

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  (916): I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up http://tfl.nu/ccq8
  Replies (5) Good night (2677) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.

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  (607): This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart. http://tfl.nu/peyr
  Replies (17) Good night (3003) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.

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  (317): Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina. http://tfl.nu/djvg
  Replies (7) Good night (2727) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance

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  (773): Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance http://tfl.nu/swas
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.

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  (416): I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/zzjd
  Replies (9) Good night (590) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You rock my world.

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  (417): I just smoked weed out of a baked potato. (309): You rock my world. http://tfl.nu/p2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.

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  (714): Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer. http://tfl.nu/wp0z
  Replies (11) Good night (1113) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"

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  (602): The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery" http://tfl.nu/wak2
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (358)

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