I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
