It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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