Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
