If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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