You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
