Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq

Replies (10) Good night (873) Bad night (1119)
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(706): View more from Georgia

If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore

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(706): If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore http://tfl.nu/b6gx

Replies (14) Good night (3825) Bad night (846)
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(650): View more from California

the ice cream truck is coming omgomg

(1-650): View more from California

dude, it's 2 am.

(650): View more from California

but its COMING

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(650): the ice cream truck is coming omgomg (1-650): dude, it's 2 am. (650): but its COMING http://tfl.nu/8z5r

Replies (63) Good night (8371) Bad night (769)
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(443): View more from Maryland

he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it

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(443): he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it http://tfl.nu/sa3y

Replies (52) Good night (1446) Bad night (6260)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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(843): i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job. http://tfl.nu/jeil

Replies (56) Good night (10089) Bad night (1034)
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(216): View more from Ohio

i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"

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(216): i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey" http://tfl.nu/8m25

Replies (29) Good night (6795) Bad night (1773)
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(213): View more from California

You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.

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(213): You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick. http://tfl.nu/ma7b

Replies (14) Good night (2927) Bad night (1118)
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(714): View more from California

You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.

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(714): You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works. http://tfl.nu/2moz

Replies (10) Good night (2096) Bad night (823)
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(925): View more from California

All I want is tacobeell and your body

(1-925): View more from California

that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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(925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc

Replies (8) Good night (2936) Bad night (1067)
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(619): View more from California

he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.

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(619): he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/fyou

Replies (6) Good night (858) Bad night (1122)
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(330): View more from Ohio

If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

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(330): If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat. http://tfl.nu/hgzf

Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (830)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

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(618): I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away. http://tfl.nu/0di0

Replies (9) Good night (909) Bad night (693)
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(213): View more from California

WTF DUDE?

(323): View more from California

Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

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(213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar

Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (534)
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(530): View more from California

im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer

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(530): im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer http://tfl.nu/8ss5

Replies (1) Good night (332) Bad night (287)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.

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(575): We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray. http://tfl.nu/vf0w

Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (274)

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