i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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