I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"