Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.