The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
