so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
