I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
