So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
