So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
