How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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