Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
