let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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