He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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