Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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