I bet he comes in French.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
