You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
