Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
