i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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