I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize