I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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