I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
