Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
