Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
