when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
