even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
