I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
