Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
