ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
