so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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