I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
