Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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