I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
