So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
