Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
