I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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