well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
