I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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