i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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