The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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