Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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