i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
