dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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