conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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