nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
