he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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