Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he fucked my hip out of place.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
