My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
