i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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