You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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